And So It Begins... (Prepping for Post-Production)

Oh man..... Who knew it would be so much work to get these files onto another hard drive?

    Today, I returned the TV equipment, checked out Monster #2 (we have it until April 10th), and picked up the hard drive from Wade's. He told me that if I wanted to fit everything, I would have to delete some stuff from the drive. Because of this, I began looking through the folders to see what I could erase, and ended up finding some old footage of my alumni friends on there, which brought a smile to my face. Everyone say hi to Ryan:

    Anyway, after a while of getting distracted by all this, I realized that it would just be easier to copy all of the CBTV hard drive's contents (1TB) onto mine (8TB), delete them off the CBTV drive and then move all of the documentary files onto that drive (which is 0.8 TB, so I definitely needed the space). This took a long time. A VERY LONG TIME.

    Luckily, I was able to just do my homework as everything processed, but it was a bit worrisome to hear my laptop's fans going ham from my kitchen. I swear they were so loud I was genuinely concerned that it was going to explode.

Anything for the documentary <3

    So, yeah. That's just about all I've done today, unfortunately. At least I'll be able to have an entire hard drive just for this project, which is honestly such a privilege, especially now that I also have an extremely powerful computer to edit on. I already know both are going to be super helpful, so I am really happy to have not just supportive peers, but also a supportive advisor that understands how much Kim and I care and have put into this project. We won't let them down, that's for sure!

I'll write tomorrow when I can actually begin editing things. Very exciting stuff, I can't wait to get the post-production process started! Until next time.

Moving On, Moving Forward

New week, new things to do - especially with the April 10th deadline coming up for this project!

    Honestly, despite me having to balance three different state/national competitions, make-up work, mock exams for my AP/AICE classes, making weekly videos for my schools' weekly show, planning and leading another state competition for my club, and so many other things (typing this out stressed me out a little I won't lie), I have thoroughly enjoyed the process of completing this project. I think so much of the process so far has been kind of terrifying - tackling such a complex topic, creating and entire set with a budget of $0, using professional equipment, completely destroying my living room to film... I have never really gone this extreme in order to make something like this happen, which makes things both surprising and a little validating to see that the team's heard work is paying off. I have learned so much about myself, my workflow and limits so far and I genuinely cannot wait to see what else I gain from this project.

    With filming now done, I went to BECON again today with my friend (and interviewee) Maya to drop off the equipment we both used to create our projects. We drove there together, pulled out my beloved blue beach cart (it has come in handy so many times and is wonderful for carrying equipment) and pulled pounds and pounds of equipment over to Jim's office. He seemed to be in a rush this time around so there wasn't much friendly conversation like last time, but it was still nice to pay him a visit. I will admit, saying goodbye to those a7iiis was quite painful, especially since I know I will only be filming on Canon T7is from now until (hopefully) my next project. I'm already having withdrawals...

    After liberating some room in my house (the equipment was taking up an entire corner of my house, as shown below), I had Kim double check with our advisor and confirm that we would be able to use "Monster #2," one of the three or so computers that were donated to our TV Production club. These laptops are no joke. We used one to export an entire episode of Aftershock for STN (Student Television Network, our biggest competition this year) and it took about two minutes to export. It was so beautiful I'm pretty sure it brought an actual tear to my eye.

    Thankfully he approved, so I decided to ask my friend Wade (one of the people that helped us film) to use a hard drive he had been using for STN-related stuff. Up until today, I had been thinking of just using my personal hard drive, but I realized that mine was formatted to Mac computers whereas the one Wade used is formatted for Windows, specifically Monster #2 (the computer Kim and I will be borrowing). Since he was no longer using it and it is technically CBTV property, he told me I could pick it up, which I did. I'm planning on moving all of the footage onto the hard drive tomorrow that way I can start editing as soon as possible. I also put all of the equipment from my club in my trunk to return tomorrow, which also liberated some room in my house. Very nice, very nice.

    Last thing - coming up with a name has been a STRUGGLE. Actually, "struggle" is an understatement. It's been close to impossible, or at least that's what its felt like... How do you encapsulate the complexity of the male gaze in a short yet memorable phrase that not only fits with the look of the piece but is also captivating enough to make you want to watch the actual piece?

    Kim and I have asked some of our peers and have sat down looking through the online thesaurus for hours, all to no avail. So far, this is what our classmates (from AICE Media) have suggested:

    - Eye Candy: Sounds cool I guess, but seems kind of superficial and does not really fit the feel of the piece.

    - Sex Oculus: This just sounds... strange.

    - Man in the Mirror: Cool concept (my friend explained that the "man" was the male gaze and that it affected how women perceived themselves especially when looking at themselves), but I don't think we should name a documentary about women's experiences after men, I think that defeats the purpose a little? I don't know.

    - Are You Still Watching?: Honestly, one of the better ones, especially since you see this phrase a lot in streaming services like Netflix when you've been consuming a lot of media and the program wants to ensure that you are still watching. I just think it's a little long and personally I'm not used to using questions as titles, but it has remained as a back-up just in case.

    - Panopticon, or "Man"-opticon: One of the interviewees mentioned this and once I looked it up, I was in genuine awe as to how perfectly it clicked with the concept of the documentary. Let me include what came up once I googled it:

    Once I saw this explanation, I immediately pictured TVs as the prisoner cells and the central observation tower as the male gaze. It's perfect. Other people seem to agree as well, saying that we should put a word before "panopticon" to make it more specific (like "____ panopticon") or even turning "panopticon" into "man-opticon." The only issue is that despite it having a really interesting concept behind the term, it just sounds like we're trying to make the name "cool," but in a pretentious way almost. I'm not sure how to describe it, really, but I don't know if we should include it in the title or not. If we were to include it, however, Kim and I were thinking of incorporating the definition somewhere in the project and maybe make a graphic to really tie things together, but again, considering how unnecessarily pretentious it sounds, I'm not sure if that is the best move. Kim and I are beyond stuck on a name. The documentary-series name, too....

    But honestly, I think (and pray) that we will come up with a name soon. I think we should stick to something that has relatively simple wording but does elicit some sort of mystery or interesting from the viewer, at least enough for them to want to check out the project. So far, it's been going well, so I'm hoping that continues to be the case. I will return some equipment tomorrow and update you guys later in the day! Write to you then.

IT'S A WRAP!!! - FILMING DAY FOUR

 After filming Tess's interview and B-roll, I fully dedicated myself to another project: a music video for a local indie band, Playkill. This was not my own project, however. It was Maya's.

    After interviewing her and having her take time out of her day to be in the documentary, I wanted to return the favor and help Maya out with her own project, especially because I love making music videos and am interested in music. Joining the team was definitely a win-win. The shoot took place from Wednesday to Friday, from about noon to 6:00 PM every day. Overall, it was a very interesting experience (this was the first time that Maya had worked with a client, and the first time that I had to help create something for other people). I was nervous at first since it felt like they were not taking us seriously, but as we got more comfortable with one another, the shoots became more and more relaxed, as well as much more enjoyable. 

    I personally really enjoyed the experience besides some small things here and there. I even made sure to take advantage of the situation and ask them if they were interested in being a part of my friend's music documentary-series, Curtain on Fire, which they seemed pretty interested in. Who knows, maybe I'll be shooting with them again sometime soon, whether it be at UCF or somewhere in south Florida. Regardless, I'm proud of myself for establishing that connection. I don't think I can reveal much (especially since it is not my project), but here is a picture I accidentally took with my camera while shooting:

    Once that came to a close on Friday, I prepared for Sabrina's re-shoot by making sure everyone was on the same page and knew when they needed to be at my house. Around 6:00 PM on Saturday, Wade, Sammy, Kim and I moved my living room again, set up the equipment and props, and then captured the shots we wanted the first time around (with the proper lighting of course). Here are some BTS (behind the scenes) pictures:

    Because we had done this multiple times before and were already familiar with Sabrina's outfits, behavior and tendencies, we basically blew through this shoot with minimal issues. The best part? Wrapping up the filming felt AMAZING. Here are some stills from the shoot (again, keep in mind that the footage is underexposed due to the SONY cameras having a weird, slightly uncalibrated monitor):

    Compared to the first shoot with Sabrina, these looked great not just because of the most controlled lighting, but also because everyone was already much more familiar with the equipment, what angles worked best, how much to under/overexpose, etc. I don't believe in "practice makes perfect" because complete perfection is unattainable, but I definitely think that we certainly improved our filming skills as well as our attitude towards the project (especially since we were feeling much more confident this time around).

    Now with filming done, however, it is time for editing. I knew going into this that my computer was in bad shape, and that I wanted to try shooting in a high resolution. In order to make up for both of these things, Kim asked our TV Production advisor whether we could use one of our program's "monsters," the most powerful computers we have. These are the computers we use for serious competitions and to edit our weekly show together, which both require some hefty rendering power. However, they don't call them "monsters" for nothing. They have insanely fast processing speeds and a good amount of memory on them. Our advisor approved, so now I have to wait until I go to school Tuesday in order to check it out. Until then, I need to start planning ahead so that these next two weeks are not extremely painful. As of right now, my main mission is to make the line-edit, choose the B-roll that will be playing over the interviews, find the videos that are going to be on the screens and edit them on with tracking/masking/blending modes. Once that is done, I can focus on the finishing touches: perfecting sound, color grading, and simple graphics like lower thirds and credits. I will admit, though - this is going to be one hell of a project. Check out how large it is:

Yup!

    No matter what, I am a firm believer in the phrase "if there is a will, there is a way," so no matter how difficult it may be, I want this project to be created consciously, purposefully, and with passion, especially since it talks about an issue that definitely requires more attention. Once I get the computer, I will start editing and start posting updates! Keep your eyes peeled for those! Until next time.

Last But Certainly Not Least - FILMING DAY THREE

It's a wrap!! Almost...

    Today was a LONG DAY. I woke up, immediately set up the third interview space, received the crew and Tess in my house, filmed Tess's interview (I managed to sneak in a bagel half-way through because I was starving, which was the only time the disruptive AC worked in my favor), instantly packed up equipment, said goodbye to everyone, went to Miami with Maya and her mom to help film a music video for Maya's portfolio project, came back five hours later basically shoving leftovers down my throat as we neared my house, got dropped off, immediately began setting up the set for Tess's B-roll, filmed her B-roll, packed everything up, imported footage, and now... I'm here.

WHEW.

    So, yeah. It's been hectic. But overall, it's been really enjoyable. Not only has shooting the documentary completely opened my eyes to new perspectives on the male gaze, but I have been able to work with an amazing group to keep everything rolling smoothly (and even assist in other projects, such as Maya's music video). Even though I was initially upset that I was not going to have much of a "break" this week, I'm actually grateful for all of these super cool opportunities that have been coming my way. I am extremely privileged to have access to all of this equipment, knowledge, experience, and a group of supportive peers.

    Speaking of the projects I've been working on, it really has been interesting to see how all three interviewees think about the male gaze and how differently they express those beliefs. Over the course of these past three days, it has been fascinating to note how despite speaking on the same topic, Sabrina, Maya, and Tess have been able to add their own unique experiences and thoughts to this whirlwind of a documentary, allowing everyone to see this issue in a more well-rounded manner. Some of the things they have mentioned definitely opened up my eyes to a new way of viewing the male gaze, so it has been a very rewarding experience.

    It has also been interesting to work with a larger group this time around, since in Counter Conformity it was strictly three people working on the project. Setting up the sets has been quicker and smoother, getting footage has been more efficient, and having Kim taking BTS (behind the scenes) pictures and videos has also been really helpful (most of these are for the social media). This has definitely taught me that working in a well-functioning team definitely eases the amount of pressure, and that being able to communicate effectively has brought up not just our productivity, but our attitudes towards the project. I'm definitely super helpful for Sammy, Wade, and Kim!

Alright. Now back to talking about filming.

    The interview went relatively smoothly. Of course we continued to have issues with the AC, but I think I finally figured out how to make it turn off faster, which is great. We also had a scare around 10AM when the landscaping people came by my neighborhood to mow the lawns. Thankfully they only stayed for about fifteen minutes, but for a second I thought that we would have to reschedule yet another shoot... Thank god that wasn't the case. Tess is a very intelligent person that clearly knows how to express her thoughts in a cohesive and educated manner, so I am definitely looking forward to listening to her answers during the line-edit process. The music video shoot went well, too, but I'll most likely talk about it in another post. For now, let's focus on the documentary! Here are some pictures from the morning session:

    The B-roll shoot went well, too. It was a bit awkward at first, especially since Tess didn't seem as comfortable with the camera as Maya or Sabrina (which was expected, considering Maya and Sabrina are used to filming all the time). Regardless, Tess clearly got the hang of the props after a while and seemed more interested in the shoot itself after some time. I definitely think we got a lot of quality footage, especially since her camera presence was way different than Maya or Sabrina's (which is a good thing, by the way). I really love how everyone presented themselves very differently in the B-roll: Sabrina acted hyper feminine (like she feels pressured to act due to the male gaze), Maya was creative, serious and model-like, telling a story through her movements, and Tess was quirky and relatively reserved, sticking to her personal props (books, knitting supplies, etc.) as she interacted with the TVs. All of these different manners of expression will definitely make a better documentary in the end. Here are some stills (keep in mind that these SONY cameras tend to overexpose the final footage, so some of these may be slightly under exposed for safety):

    I genuinely cannot wait to finish off filming and start the editing process - after all, the line-edit is where the real magic happens (with no interviews there is no story, and with no story there is no documentary). I hope you like the end result just as much as I do! I'll document our last shoot and make sure to share my experience with you guys. See you Saturday!

Setting Things Straight - FILMING DAY TWO

I had quite the... scare this morning, I must say.

    As I was importing all of the footage, I ended up passing out on my couch and then jolting awake around 6:00 AM. I'm not sure what came over me in this moment but I got really anxious, looking at the clips from the shoot and questioning whether or not they were even good. I proceeded to over-analyze everything (the lighting, framing, stability of the camera, etc.) and sending panicky texts to Kim wondering how we could make things look better - if the project was salvageable at all. I think I had been slightly unsure about the footage last night but suppressed those feelings until they exploded in the middle of my sleep session, and I was struggling to cope with the fact that in the end, the B-roll is going to look very different from the Pinterest board I've been worshipping for the past couple weeks. As you can probably tell, it was not an easy conclusion to come to (especially since I knew only a fraction of yesterday's footage was usable. I only posted the better stills)...

    I immediately started planning ahead in order to make sure that both Maya and Tess could film at night, since I realized that the wishy-washy lighting was what brought down the footage's quality the most. I addressed a lot of my concerns in the chat later in the morning and even asked Sabrina if we could re-shoot. Luckily, she had Saturday night available - which meant that we would get a second chance at her B-roll, and that I would somehow have to convince my parents (and Jim) to keep all of the equipment/props/set for longer than expected. However, I was up for the challenge. I sent Jim a voice message regarding the equipment (he said there was no problem) and came to an agreement with my parents that I would change the living room back to normal Thursday morning, move everything again before the shoot Saturday night, and then immediately move things back once filming was over. Despite all of these new things to stress about, I was feeling quite relieved - we weren't screwed after all.

    Although, this added a lot more pressure in terms of not messing up this time around. Both Maya and Tess said that shooting the B-roll at night was fine, which I was super grateful for and apologized for the last-minute changes. Instead of shooting after the interview, the B-roll would be filmed at 7:30PM (when the sun went down), allowing us to work with more controlled lighting conditions. Maya's interview went well (the AC was annoying as always, of course), so I did my absolute best to ensure the success of the B-roll shoot later in the day.

Before Maya showed up, I looked through some of Sabrina's B-roll and identified the key issues with it:

    - LIGHTING: Despite covering the windows with blankets and blinds, the light outside would be so intense that even with five lights pointing at Sabrina, the white background was still brighter than her. This was super frustrating in the moment and no matter what we did, we could not get rid of it. Because of this, we just kept shooting, hoping that the lighting would improve as the sun went down and praying that some coloring/exposure tweaks could be done in post (however, one can never rely too much on this).

    - TRIPOD SHAKE: Even though both cameras were on tripods, there were still some slight shaking of the camera, most likely because of our hands trying to adjust the focus (the Rokinon lenses we were utilizing were manual focus only, which was ideal but of course that slight pressure on the lens does cause a bit of movement). Usually this slight shake does not make a difference but because I will be editing the screens on, I need each clip to be as stable as possible. I'm glad I noticed this, because later in the day (for Maya's shoot), I found myself being much more careful with the camera.

    - SHADOWS: Unwanted shadows on the subject's face and background were really annoying to get rid of, especially when shining one light causes one shadow, another light causes another one, and then you're stuck trying to find the perfect arrangement in which all the lights perfectly light the scene without creating any unnecessary dark spots. Obviously this was very difficult to manage, but I'm hoping that with a more controlled environment, we'll be able to minimize this. 

    This is an example of a clip that showcases these problems. Even with multiple lights pointed at her, she was still not properly lit! This was super nerve-wracking especially since we were doing everything we could to cover the windows. There are also strange shadows on her face, and overall the shot looks... amateurish. This really shows what a couple wrong decisions can do to a shot; but, as always, we move forward.

    Maya then came around 7:30 PM and we started immediately. This shoot was INFINITELY smoother and less stressful for a handful of reasons: first of all, we had some more experience with the set and equipment than before Sabrina's shoot, which definitely made us feel more confident with the cameras. Additionally, the lighting situation was so much easier to work with, especially since the darkness allowed us to have a "blank palette" in terms of lighting. Maya was also easier to work with, since she was enjoying the filming process and finding the most visually interesting poses she could think of. I definitely enjoyed this so much more, and I can tell that everyone else on the crew did as well. Here are some stills!

    Towards the end of the shoot, my dad came home and seemed annoyed that we were not done filming yet. He kept asking us when we would be done and then eventually gave us a time limit, which caused us to speed through some of the later set-ups. Although this did take away from the experience a little bit, I do understand we were disrupting his usual post-work routine and ultimately preventing him from resting after a long day of hard work. We finished at 10:30PM and cleaned everything up, preparing for Tess's shoot tomorrow. So far, this has been my favorite day in the project - and with a lot of the previous issues now solved, I feel a lot better going into tomorrow (and Saturday, since we still have to re-film Sabrina).

    Thank you guys so much for accompanying me on such a hectic journey, it really has been interesting to be able to learn from my mistakes and push forward despite some issues. I hope you have been liking the results so far, and I'll be sure to post again tomorrow after filming with Tess! See you guys then.

And the Filming Begins... FILMING DAY ONE

Hello everyone!

    I'm currently importing all of the footage from the SD cards we had in the camera and camcorder. Since we shot so much (and in a very high resolution as well), these transfers are taking a WHILE. At least that gives me a little more time to talk to you guys about how today went, am I right!

    Overall, everything went pretty smoothly. All of the "crew" (Kim, Wade, Sammy as well as myself) were all at my house about an hour before the shoot, making sure everything was set up. We got the equipment ready, polished the interview space, and waited for Sabrina to get there, which took a little while but nothing too crazy.

    We started around 10:30 AM or so and kept going. From what I could tell, the interviews went well, especially with so many difficult being asked back to back. The only annoying thing was my air conditioning, since it kept turning off randomly and I couldn't turn it off, only put a specific temperature so that it eased out faster (why don't AC's have off buttons? it seems kind of counterintuitive to me, but whatever).

    After the interview, Sabrina had a doctor's appointment, which allowed the crew to eat and get the set ready for the B-roll. We got to relax a little before the shoot which was nice. Honestly, I'm really glad we asked them to be a part of it - if I'm being completely honest, Kim and I definitely needed the help (especially with so many props to move and equipment to handle).

    B-roll went well, too. The set looked cool, Sabrina was into it, and overall the energy was pretty up there. The only issue is that as the light moved from on top of my house to the side of my house (due to the angle of the sunlight), it started getting brighter and brighter in my living room (I guess the blinds and blankets were not enough like I thought). It got really annoying especially during 5:00 PM or so, but we persevered (especially since we didn't really have another choice). I just have to hope that everything goes well in post, I guess. Here are some stills:

    After shooting, I also helped Sabrina film a scene from her short film. It's really nice to have a bunch of people from AICE Media to count on not just being in your projects, but also allow you to help with theirs. So yeah - relatively successful first day, I'd say? Excited for tomorrow's shoot with Maya, I'll check in with you then!

The Final Countdown

Less than 24 hours left until the big day. There's lots to do and not too much time to do it.

    I woke up nice and early with a project to-do list in mind:

    - Clear out living room

    - Get equipment from Maya

    - Test out big TV with converter I purchased

    - Trying out equipment on set

    After getting some volunteering done, I tackled the first item on the list: clearing out my living room. This was not an easy task, considering that area of the house has the most furniture out of the rest of the rooms, so finding space to put everything was difficult to say the least. Also, with my parents not being happy about having to live in a messy, visually chaotic household for the next couple days, moving everything ended up being twice as stressful (especially with the mouthful of comments that came from my mom). Obviously, both of my parents were doing me a huge favor by letting me film in the house, so I gladly took any blow for the well-being of the project.

    After about half an hour, we somehow managed to clear the entirety of the living room and clean the floors, since we had never really cleaned behind that furniture ever since we placed it there. After some vacuuming and mopping, the set was looking good. 

    After this was done, Kim and I went to Maya's house to get the equipment she borrowed from Jim. We had already mentioned that we would be sharing the equipment, so there were no issues with Jim or Maya. We simply went to her house, double-checked everything, put it in Kim's car, and took it to the empty living room that will soon be the set for the documentary.

    Kim had to quickly leave for work afterward, which left me to play around with the props and equipment even more. I had already tested everything except one thing: an HDMI to RCA converter that I had ordered earlier in the week in order to execute the live feed on the large TV. I had checked the day before that the TV was fully functioning (which it was), and gathered all the necessary cables to connect the camcorder from school all the way to the RCA connectors on the back of the 70-pound JVC television that was hanging out in the corner of my now-empty living room.

    I had done my research on all this, figuring out which cables I needed (HDMI, the converter, a power cable for the converter, and an RCA female to male cable) and how to connect them in order to pull this off correctly. All I had been waiting for was the converter and power cable, which arrived later in the day.

Of course, not everything can go as planned.

    Turns out that something happened to the big TV overnight (not sure what, because it was working perfectly the day before), because despite desperately trying to turn it on and consulting both my father and a plethora of troubleshooting websites for JVC TVs, the television would turn on (it made the "powering on" sound like usual), but the screen  itself would remain black. I even tried to troubleshoot things constantly throughout the remainder of the day just incase I needed to wait for any results, but nothing changed. After $20 and several hours wasted, I decided to just stick to the smaller TVs and just mask the screen on like I was planning on doing for the other props, anyway. Despite there being an alternate solution, it definitely did not feel the best to deal with that the night before filming.

    However, Once I finally decided to move onto other things, I was able to marinate in the excitement from last night. With the props in order and equipment set up, I was finally able to see what the set would look like - after weeks of planning, I was finally looking at the result of my efforts. Here are some pictures, including some of the test footage I took:

    I will not lie, the set looked amazing - but I realized that this moody, futuristic look would only be achieved if we were to film at night. Up until this point, I had only tested the props in the daylight and genuinely thought that filming during the afternoon might be the way to go, especially since I had plenty of curtains and blankets to block the lights from my windows; but to my horror, I realized that the day would not work. It just would not be the same.

    I immediately got very frustrated and wish I had been able to clear the living room earlier (since I did not have the space available until tonight to test things out), but because some family was staying over for their spring break, today was the earliest we could do it. Luckily, it was early enough that MAYBE the interviewees would be willing to change things around - but the only interviewee who could not film at night was the person we are interviewing tomorrow: Sabrina. Turns out she scheduled a shoot for her own project after shooting for our documentary, so things are looking quite complicated.

    Honestly, this was my own fault for not turning on the TVs and trying out the set in my living room before, even if it wasn't in the final location. Mistakes happen, I just have to figure out how I'm going to manage the light tomorrow in order to try to replicate this lighting as much as possible. I really do hope the first day of filming goes well, and that Kim and I are able to figure something out. Wish me luck, everyone.